Moms - have you let yourself go?

Recently, I was participating in an online board talking about the new Suave Commercials that depict a "Mom" who - after children - has let herself go to pot. There was a great deal of angst on the boards about how important your children are and that your looks don't matter. While I can definitely agree on the level of tasks, to do's and a myriad of other things on a Mom's "Most Important" List; I do have to agree with a number of bloggers here and there that many Mom's DO let themselves go - and join the "I want to look natural" group. This, ladies, is NOT the best choice you can make - for yourself, your children and - importantly - your marriage.

I am a 41 year old, red-headed Mom of 2; a Professional Software Architect; business owner; horse owner (barn chick cleaning 5 stalls daily). Despite the typical 16+ hour day, everyday I put on fresh, flattering clothes, do my hair with highlights, painted nails and apply some cosmetics - enough so my husband is well aware I am his wife, not his brother. I do this not only for my husband (which is ultimately for me) but for me and the whole family. I don't pretend to be anyone. It took work and effort to become who I am and I love that person - including every wrinkle, stretch mark and scar.

Why do I say that my looking put together - if not always professional is important to the family? Because it reflects on the family - your husband in social circles (ever run into an Exec from your DH's company or their spouse at the grocery/soccer/tutor's? I have - and I feel more confident when I have my "best face" forward.

When you show up at your child's school for a PTA meeting, Room Mom (yes, I do schedule time for this) or teacher conference in your sweats and bunny slippers, it makes you child look bad - sorry - it is true - first impressions are the only impression you get to make.

It is all about confidence. When you know you look good (not "date" night or fashionista) you walk taller. You project an image of confident ability. When you look like a schlumpy, frumpy, dowdy housekeeper, people assume you are a slob.

Sorry ladies - I know I will get roasted for this - but I don't care: the truth hurts. Your Au natural face is not (in most cases) the best you can look. A light quick cosmetically enhanced look is simple and important.

I do not mean full-on war paint. Tinted moisturizer or mineral powder foundation a little bronzer, mascara and lip gloss is the difference between looking old and tired - or young and fresh. You can do this in 5 minutes flat and there is NO ONE that doesn't have 5 minutes to themselves to feel pretty and confident.

It doesn't matter that some of you think you are being "feminist" and "strong" by rejecting cosmetics, heels, hose and dressing up. Pampering myself isn't "bad" or selfish - it shows respect for me - by giving myself time to recharge; it shows respect for my husband - I'm worth it, I deserve it and I love to spend that little extra time. I think that is being "feminist" - because it is MY choice.

I'm no super Mom - and don't pretend to be. I mess up royally sometimes - we all do. The fact remains, some Mom's let themselves go. Some look like washed out men with breasts. "Choose" to look as you like...bottom line, without a little care and attention; even the most beautiful 20-something "earth mother" gets to looking a little....haggard around the edges.

Image matters. You may not like to hear it, but it does. It may not be fair and you can protest all you want - but I would hazard a guess that if your husband came home and you had put a little time into your image (lip gloss, powder, mascara - 2 minutes girls) he would take a second look and notice. You may not care...but, he might.

Some guys commented on the board that they like it when women care how they look. Think they are cavemen? Perhaps your guy thinks the same. Maybe not....but remember - they spend their work day exposed to sharp women who DO care about their image. Then they come home...